James Allen: "One light, two lights, three lights, four lights, five lights, and the crossing of the road.......isssss..........GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! And the chicken has started well, but Fisichella is trying to take him around the outside, but he hasn't made it stick, the chicken blocks him off. AND LOOK AT RAIKKONEN. A blistering start from the Finn, makes it up into third, overtaking his teammate. And they all make it cleanly through the chewing gum left on the curb as thy head towards the drain. Martin.
Martin Brundle: Yeah, I think that was Alonso who tried to get past at the start, seeing as Fisi had to start at the back of the grid after missing his grid spot again.
James: Yep, absolutely right Martin.
Martin: But it looks as though Alonso is going to try again as they come up to the skid marks, and it looks like it might happen... oooooohhhhh, nooooo, he got stuck behind the chicken's dirty air, and you just lose too much downforce like that, what were you THINKING Fernando, you were never going to make that stick.
James: Martin, just tell us right now, what would be going through your head if you were the chicken?
Martin: I'd just carry on as I am, you know, obviously the chicken has a reasonable lead, he just needs to conserve his claws and nurse it to the end.
James: So, at this stage of the crossing, we have the chicken in the lead, with Alonso a distant second, with Raikkonen third, Schumacher fourth, Button an excellent fifth and Trulli sixth..........(wait for ad break).......(still wait for ad break, hoping it will happen so you can go for a slash)......annd, you are still here at the road crossing, and you can see from the picture that we are riding with the chicken. Let's just listen to the clucking as we cross the middle of the roa... well, the director as cut away now, but it would have been nice. Louise is with Jacques Villeneuve.
Louise Goodman: That's right James, I am here with Jacques, about to rub it in to him about how he tossed it up and crashed out. Jacques, not the ending you were hoping for was it? You thought you might finish quite well but you stuffed it into the curb. Tell us what happened.
JV: Well, I was going quite well, but my left foot went from under me in that embarrassing way it sometimes does, and I fell over. I thought I could carry on, but it smarts quite a bit.
Louise: Jolly bad luck, Jacques.
JV: You fancy coming back to mine later?
Louises: Sod off, you are no Johnny Herbert. James.
James: Well, you heard it there, Jacques foot went from under him. How can that hurt you, Martin?
Martin: Well, you know, it's not so much the pain from the foot, more of the embarrassment from making an arse of yourself.
James: AND, AS YOU WATCH THE CHICKEN NEGOTIATE THE DRAIN FOR THE FINAL TIME... HIS TEAM CLIMB THE ROADSIDE BARRIER, THEY ARE ECSTATIC, AND HERE HE IS, THE LITTLE GREEN MAN CHANGES TO RED, AND THE CHICKEN HAS WWWOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!!!!!!